Reflection: Judgment, Others VS Self

The Flame

We judge ourselves by what

we feel capable of doing,

while others judge us by

what we have already done.

—Henry Wadsworth Longfellow,

Kavangh, 1849

Quotes are the phrases that some random person will say it to you that change your life. Once spoken, there’s a click in the mind that ignites a flame of change. It burns as bright as you allow it. It can ignite a fire large enough to turn itself to ash or it can dim out to nothing. When that flame ignites, keep a level head. Look forward and move towards the dream. You can look back as long as you don’t get caught up in that past. Stay in the present working towards the future. Let the past be a reminder of once was but never will be if you keep working.

The Others

We live in a world based on other’s opinions of us. Social media has disrupted the flow of human interaction. Many people base themselves around their social media. It’s a new kind of crowd sourcing where we must speak to the world in any of these platforms to show the world how awesome we are! When in reality, we all go through the same rounds of emotions. The struggles of life are inevitable. Then we look for validation and support from others.

There’s people taking selfies in areas where they should be focusing in the moment. They are more concerned on showing the world what they’re experiencing than fully immersing themselves in what they’re doing.

This is not to say that all usage of social media is bad. I’m leaning  more towards over-consumption and overuse of social media stimulates unhealthy actions and thoughts. Having grown up in this digital age and working in IT now, it’s easy to see how technology has taken over. What once was a tool has now become a lifestyle. If we don’t tell the world, how will anyone ever know? We need to preserve every single memory.

As mentioned before, others judge us by what we have done. We want to show that we have done great. That we have done great and are continuing to live a fulfilled life. Many crave positive judgement from others and any negativity is lashed back with negativity. When we make mistakes, we’ll tell the world through our perspective and find validation from friends and family to validate what we did is right. No need to change it, we didn’t do anything wrong! But we did. That’s where we need to rearrange our thoughts.

The Self

What are you capable of doing? What do you do when no one is watching. When the social media is turned off and the phone is silenced, what is being done in your life to make it better? Ever since I began this change 5 months ago, I challenged myself each day to these and many more questions.

You see, I used to judge my self heavily through others. I got to a point where EACH LIKE on any of my social media made me EXTREMELY happy. That was wrong. I felt sad whenever a post/image didn’t get more than 75+ likes. It was bad. Overtime my girlfriend noticed and snapped me out of this cycle. The cycle of feeling empty and seeking validation from others. That the world owed me.

I began a new change. It had to find a method to stop my bad habits and begin new ones. I had to give back to the world that I owed for giving me life. Where do I start? I started by making sure to have non zero days.

The point I’m trying to make is that you have to make yourself, promise yourself, that the new SYSTEM you live in is a NON-ZERO system. Didnt’ do anything all fucking day and it’s 11:58 PM? Write one sentence. One pushup. Read one page of that chapter. One. Because one is non zero. You feel me? When you’re in the super vortex of being bummed your pattern of behaviour is keeping the vortex goin, that’s what you’re used to. Turning into productivity ultimate master of the universe doesn’t happen from the vortex. It happens from a massive string of CONSISTENT NON ZEROS. That’s rule number one. Do not forget.

—/u/ryans01

If a day was not great, I make sure I did at least one productive thing towards my overall goal. I have created the string of consistent non zeros to get to this point. It started small like making my bed, doing some pushups, and cooking some food. It exploded to going to the gym, reading books, and making the effort to learn new skills online. All of it lead me to my current journey, Automattic.

Ever since the discovery of Automattic a few weeks ago, I have learned more about WordPress than I ever thought I would. I go to bed each night with a sense of accomplishment. A knowledge that is farther than it was this morning. Helping on the forums gives me complete satisfaction, especially when a situation someone once had is resolved. It’s like customer service through the Internet, my two favorite things! When I was a kid, I used to join a lot of forums online ranging from anime to coding to photoshopping. I enjoyed learning from others. I then gave it back to those who were new. I realized that I always enjoyed helping others but felt much more safe doing it behind a computer since I can rationalize my thoughts better before speaking it out. I believe that when I get to be a Happiness Engineer, I’ll fill the role with great pride. I’ll return my thanks to the company by living up to their culture and values each day. Why? I know my value now and that a company like Automattic is where it would thrive best. Watch me.

Daily Prompt: What’s Missing In You?

Finding The Final Puzzle Piece To Waking Up

It was another day in July. I had just gotten home from my IT Consulting job in the city. I felt tired and exhausted. Yet, I did nothing for 90% of my work day. I called my girlfriend. She asked how work was. I proceeded on another rant of how I hate my situation of being underpaid, undervalued, and feeling like I’m going nowhere.

As I complained, she stopped me midway. “SHUT UP!” she exclaimed, “Shut up and do something about it. How you’re feeling right now, this… this is not you! My boyfriend is a hard-working, driven man. If you’re feeling stuck and in a hole right now, then get up and do something.

I was quiet for a moment. There was a switch in my head that turned on that day. I found what I was missing. I was missing WHY I was alive. My purpose, as some people will call it, was gone and I had given up on life. Playing video games, hanging with friends, and having drinks were all great; nevertheless, the world is ever evolving and full of experiences that can only be tapped once you choose to free yourself from these chains called “the real world” that we experience.

I decided to change.

I began reading books ranging from business to finance, self-help to spirituality, and any book recommended to me (feel free to comment on your top 3 favorite books to read). I listened to podcasts, joined webinars, and started attending conferences. Life becomes more fulfilling once you let go of your mind and take every opportunity and surprise that comes your way. Life opens up when you let go of negativity and learn that every situation that comes your way is how you react to it. Why live a close-minded life?

You see, growing up we are told to go through school, go to college, get a degree, and get a job. Along the way, we aren’t really taught WHY we should do it and HOW we should go about it. We’re just told this is WHAT we need to do. By the time you finish everything and get that job, is that it?

HELL NO!

We live in a world where our voice can be heard in millions of different platforms and the ability to learn about ANYTHING with a quick (or several) Google searches. Here, thanks to the daily prompt, you’re now reading this. Every voice can be heard with a quick tweet or post. Anything is possible these days and it’s just realizing that you’re missing your true passion helps reveal that.

If you want a start, I suggest reading the book Start With Why by Simon Sinek and How To Stop Worrying And Start Living by Dale Carnegie. Both phenomenal books that helped change my perspective of the world we live in.

Now ask yourself, what’s missing in you? Why are you living? If you don’t know, find it. I’ll be here to help if you need it.

via Daily Prompt: Missing

Daily Prompt: Your Buried Treasure

Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind. To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue.
~ Buddha

Imagine for a moment a map leading to your buried treasure. The path to take is dangerous. Mountains and oceans to traverse. Monsters appear at every corner. You’ll need to learn to fight and survive. None of it will be comfortable. It won’t be easy. You will come close to death. The treasure itself can be empty or full. Are you willing to take the risk?

Your buried treasure compares to real life. We all have passions and goals. The path to self-discovery and finding our purpose, our WHY, is never an easy task. Excuse me if this sounds rude but everyone says they want to live a more fulfilling life and to do what they love; yet, never set out to live it because they decide it’s more comfortable doing what’s already working instead of trying something new.

One morning, they find themselves changed. Their eyes are open! They’re going to do everything they ever wanted today! They plan to do a little bit of their 5 different passions to work on. Then by the time they get to number 3, it’s night time. They say they’ll do it tomorrow and go to bed. Tomorrow comes, they’re back to normal. No energy to do what they want.

You see, working towards your passion is not an easy task. You need to remind and push yourself everyday to work towards your goals. The one thing you need to change is just to choose one and ask yourself WHY you want to do it. Truly, why is it a passion and why do you want to accomplish this goal? The answer will be your main pillar towards reaching it. Your answer needs to be strong enough that ANY excuse doesn’t seem good enough to stop your drive. Now, create the map based of your goal and the why. Write down EVERY SINGLE STEP to getting to that goal. Change your routine and adjust your life to make time EVERY DAY for it, no matter what. Write down a reminder that you’ll see every morning and night of that goal. Step-by-step you get closer. Eventually, you reach it after all the struggle, long nights and hard work.

Once you’re done, move onto your next passion. It may be something old or new. Make sure you don’t stop. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it keeps you moving forward. Never stop learning and growing everyday. Adapt. Evolve. Change. It’s important to realize that you need to look at your life, find your WHY and set out to live how you see fit. YOU are the only one with yourself 24 hours a day. Why live it being comfortable? Create an adventure! Every day is a new story!

Imagine that map of your buried treasure and CREATE it into reality. Those obstacles along the way are nothing compared to what you gain on the path towards the treasure. It’s not about what’s inside the box, it’s the adventure along the way that’s the real treasure.

Wallpaper Link Here
Treasure